Sunday, December 26, 2010
It's been a while since I teased Matt here. This piece came to me a couple of weeks ago. Y'see, Matt likes to pull his hood up over his head in the office when he gets chilly. He hates hats and loves his short hair. And with a skull like his who WOULDN'T prefer short hair? Also, he used to have a penchant for swinging scissors around like Bruce Lee with nunchuks! Merry Christmas Matt!
Friday, December 24, 2010
Jingle Bells and all that fluff! I do love this time of year. Reminds me of my childhood. Listening to my Mom's Christmas records, decorating the tree, the house smelling like a sweet bakery. Or course when I was a kid the worst we'd get was some rain and 50-degree weather. Here in Ohio I get -30 wind chills and ice-slicked roads. White Christmas my ass...
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Yeah, that's Matt's favorite thing to say when we see Ken. That's Ken everybody. He works with us at the Press. He cuts things and has a hard time measuring. It's also difficult for him to wear birthday party hats and football helmets. But to make up for this he has a spectacular pair of WOLF FANGS! No, not some cool werewolf lineage. He's got two huge white tufts of hair growing down the back of his neck! AWOOOOOOOOO!
Friday, December 17, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Who's got interchangeable arm attachments and is the coolest inter-dimensional criminal in all the universe? That's right: Trapjaw, bitches! You can't tell me you didn't see that coming. I don't know why, but Trapjaw just seemed like the coolest of all of Skeletor's cronies.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Previously I've mentioned the... bond that Greg and Hunter shared. They would lovingly practice new ways to high-five. Creativity. Sensitivity. Vulnerability. Greg and Hunter embraced these qualities as the Rowdy Rods. They finished each other's sentences. They'd have completely nonsensical e-mail conversations. It was very entertaining to see what the two of them would do next. And they'd always surprise me!
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Wow, so I've been doodling for public consumption for over a year now! I've gone through just about all of the work-related content that I have. At least until Hunter finally scans the drawings of mine that he has. But anyway, a whole year making snide comments! Go me!
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Alright I admit it. I've been dug into a bunker called Called of Duty: Black Ops. But don't worry, I'm not playing that lame single player mode. Much. Nope! I'm firmly in the business of fragging some noobs!
In fact I was playing last night with a few of my bestest buds and we all kept running across this same odd character: Poopincat!
"I don't know, but I just killed him."
"Yeah, me too!"
"Wup, killed Poopincat again."
I've come across all manner of players with strange names and offensive emblems. But Poopincat takes the cake. I salute you, sir! It was a privilege to shoot your face off.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
Okay, this is kind of a mess. But I wanted to splash all of this stuff up here that I could. Drawing isn't my only claim to fame. Sure, there's no fame either. However I do get the chance to design point of sale items from time to time. These are actually fairly old. But some of them are still kept in stock at the Press.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
This is a pretty old drawing. As is often the case I took it as a chance to create some nonsensical background for the action. I don't think this one is as bad as the rest of them. But all in all I think it's a pretty successful piece.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Why, you ask? Why not, I say! Sure, these are pretty rough drawings. And that second one has some pretty questionable use of color. (Gag!)
Mega Man was one of the early Nintendo games that reignited my love of video games after the slow death of Atari 2600. Now to be clear, I've never played Mega Man 1. I began with MM2 and played several of the subsequent games.
Mega Man 2 is one of my all time favorite games. What's not to like? Not only are you a little blue robot running around shooting a ridiculous amount of other robots built to reflect the themes of very specific stages, but you get to steal the unique powers of the bosses! Imagine using Flash Man's powers to stop time! Bubble Man's metal bubble attack! (Make sense of that, I dare you.) Or Metal Man's high speed buzzsaws! Plus Heat Man even LOOKS like a lighter!
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Chuck is one of the warehouse personnel at The Press. He's kind of in charge of riding around on his forklift and drinking coffee. Not necessarily in that order. Anyhow, for some reason he has his own office secluded in a rarely travelled portion of our most distant warehouse.
Anyway, Chuck couldn't be bothered to bring a palette full of materials anywhere near our office. Then the plant manager would wonder, rather out loud at Bob, why our materials are just sitting around instead of being put away. At which point Bob made it clear that it was unrealistic that we travel across the plant like the Fellowship of the Ring multiple times to get our film, plates, paper, and chemicals. "Why is it so far away?" wondered the plant manager. Because Chuck is a douchebag. A lazy douchebag.
Bob was assured that this would never happen again by the annoyed plant manager. Then Bob proudly told us this story and capped it with, "I fixed HIS wagon!"
Sunday, September 19, 2010
(Two points to anyone that recognizes that song lyric)
I always wondered what the thought process was when they created Ghost Rider. Was he just a product of the 70s horror scene? Evel Knievel was big then, was he the catalyst? Apparently there's a lot of dispute about who came up with what idea. Sounds like a common theme at Marvel Comics. Marvel is jerks...
Sunday, September 12, 2010
For a long time Moon Knight was described as Marvel's version of Batman, something I never bought into. He's way cooler. I mean Moon Knight's a guy with paranoid schizophrenia and dissociative identity disorder that cuts his greatest enemy's face off! Sometimes he's had powers depending on the phase of the moon and other times he's had no powers. Is he the avatar of vengeance or just a mercenary that hears voices? Who knows! I don't know! And sure, make fun of the white costume at night. But he says it best himself when he tells you he wears the white so that they know he's coming. So maybe he's got a bit of a death wish, too. Let's face it, you'd have to be crazy to be a super hero anyway, right?
Monday, September 6, 2010
Easily the most interesting character in the entire game. Morrigan is bold, powerful, opinionated, and unapologetic. She can be a real pain in the ass, but she's a valuable ally. Her indecent proposal at the end of the game is a real curveball. But now we get to chase her down in the new DLC. And it looks to tie up a couple of plot points, at least if you started as a Dalish Elf.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
It's been a while since I played a good RPG. But Dragon Age hooked me pretty fast. Alistair, as your first party member, endears himself to you with a lot of self-deprecating humor and a willingness to do what you tell him. Somehow that makes sense with a guy with admittedly non-magical magic powers...
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Mike is an avid hunter and guitarist. At his age, with so many years of not using ear protection, he's got some trouble hearing people. So when we talk to him we have to yell. Literally.
The image you see this week is pretty common. You start to ask him a question and he either ignores you or he gives you an unrelated answer and walks away. It's frustrating when you're the one asking the question. But when you're not it's hilarious!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Sadly, this is probably the most enduring memory everyone at The Press will have of Bob. And for some of us, Martin, too. There isn't much of a story here. That antiquated colloquialism holds true in this case: a picture is worth a thousand words. At least enough to make it obvious.
One muggy morning Bob walked into the filthy bathroom we all share at The Press. And to his surprise he did spy Martin! With his tight jeans pulled down so that he could inspect his ass! This is an artist's interpretation of Bob's reaction; he says it's accurate. To his credit (discredit?) Martin didn't flinch and carried on with his creepy investigation of his sphincter pillows.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Such an underrated squad of teenage heroes. Whenever people talk about the X-Men it's usually about the omnipresent Wolverine. Not a lot of people give credit to the original five. Even I didn't draw Iceman in his original "snow man" form with his fire boots. But come on, even the classics can be silly.
Monday, July 26, 2010
When I was but a lad one of my favorite video games for my beloved NES was Mike Tyson's Punch Out! That's right! The original game, not the one with that Mr. Dream guy. Felling Tyson with his pink-pulsining power punches and winky-warning wallops was a true challenge of a sugared up pre-teens reflexes! Getting to Tyson was a feat in itself for most of us. I didn't say we were any good.
What's more that game had some awesomely ridonkulous characters. Guys like Glass Joe, Don Flamenco, Bald Bull, and Soda Popinski!? And my personal favorite: King Hippo! A man-mountain of questionable origin. Hippo Island in the South Pacific? Please. Every fight fan knows you were the result of ambient radiation from nuclear testing on hippos.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Sure, it's obvious. It's in his name. So he's a little gassy. Sounds like a real Garbage Pail Kid! Anyway Martin's that guy you work with that looks down his nose at most people. He gripes about them and how they can't do their jobs. He doesn't have a lot of friends at work; and the ones he does have he tries to turn against everyone else. He's also something of a pecker checker...
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Far be it from me to cast aspersions about one's character. The Ultimate Warrior made a name for himself in the wrestling business for being an unskilled ass hat. Even after his wrestling career the Warrior had stints as a right-wing motivational speaker and comic book writer. What a renaissance man.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Continuing our wrestling theme for the week I present to you one of the greatest villains in the history of American entertainment! You doubt me? Check him out on Youtube. That guy was haaaaated! He was the best! Even I hated him. And everyone knows I love a man with a chiseled physique. Err-- I love to draw men with chiseled physiques. Hm. That didn't sound much better...
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
JYD! The Junkyard Dog! This dude was an early favorite of mine. I don't know if it was the chains or the defiant working man attitude. Maybe it was because he looked like half the guys in my neighborhood when I was 6. But watching him punch, stomp, and headbutt other fat guys in tights was simply a delight!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
I know, I've been pretty lax about updates. To make up for it I'll put up each wrestler from my set of 80s squared circle brawlers! Starting with the original crazy man: George the Animal Steele! Sure, I know wrestling is fake. And I don't watch it now. But when I was a kid it was the only thing I remember doing with my dad. Watching wrestling on Sunday morning. And this wild, hirsute, green-tongued, turnbuckle eating, wife stealing son of a gun was loads of entertainment!
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Hawkeye probably enjoys a little more notoriety than Wonder Man. So much that they say he's going to be in the Avengers movie due out in a few years. I doubt he's going to be rocking the purple and blue costume though. But at least there won't be any boxing glove arrows. That's right, Green Arrow, I'm looking at you.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
I love you Dad. Give those potatoes what-for!
Like many children of the 80s I grew up with an Atari 2600 in the living room. And Donkey Kong was one of my favorite games. But Mario always seemed like kind of a dick, I mean Pauline seemed pretty happy hanging out with the big ape. But here comes Mario and his hero-complex to spoil a good time! I bet he wasn't happy after Donkey Kong Jr. was born. Come to think of it I haven't seen Pauline since 1982.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
That's right Shrek. "CongraDulations." Good work.
Yes, I'm back! Blog updates fell to the wayside over the last couple of weeks. We've got a recent graduate in the house now. Very proud of Mike!
Took a week off of work since my Mom was coming in from California and my Dad from Idaho. So my nice relaxing vacation was spent landscaping and barbecuing. Which, despite how it sounds, wasn't so bad.
So enjoy Saturday's revelry and marvel at Shrek's spelling prowess and look for something new tomorrow.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Greg fit in real well with Hunter, Matt, and I when he was hired. Quickly, too. He scared Ron so badly one morning that Rondito spilled tea all over himself. A legendary turn, that one. Greg and I also became incredibly proficient at distracting Ron with work while the other put a vulgar post-it on his back. We loved it when he'd come back red-faced and tell us that the president of the Press asked him if he pees sitting down like the note suggested. All in all Greg is a wonderful jackass that I wish was still around. He was the one person out of us all to have the vision and financial wherewithal to actually quit the Press.
Kudos to you Captain Greggles! I salute you, sir.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Wow. Another episode in the saga of Matt and his strange out of place rages. I'm not sure why he did this to the door. And while it's embellished a little, he did break that door. And he does own that shirt. And it does stand for Bad Ass Mother Fucker.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Like many businesses the Press has a secretary in the front office. Often she has to come on the loud speaker to tell people they have phone calls, or packages, or whatever. But Charlotte's delivery is this awful screech that seems to come from an antediluvian time! Ron always dreaded hearing his name on the loudspeaker, "RAAAAWN!" He always felt like he was going to be dinner for pterodactyl babies! I don't blame him, that sound probably haunted his dreams.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
There was a period of time where Hunter was late for work a few times. Most people just say they over slept, but Hunter is unlike most people. You see, he wasn't late because his alarm didn't go off or anything so mundane. No. He was late because Godzilla had been dropped on the Columbus outer belt! A few days after that he had to ride his giant spider to work to get through the mess.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
This is a crowd favorite. In fact, these pictures are from the second time I coated Matt's chair in stickers! Some people collect stickers. I share them. Matt didn't appreciate it the first time, he just stomped over to his chair and flailed at them until they all flew off onto the floor. Where they promptly landed sticky side down. I swear it was like a freshly buttered slice of toast! Many stickers still remain under his feet to this day. The rest he swept under the rug, literally. When the guy came to replace the rug the next week a bunch of stickers went flying everywhere.
The second time around Matt handled it with a little more aplomb. He casually wiped them into his hand and threw them away. Lesson learned, I'd say. I love helping people.
Monday, April 26, 2010
I actually know a couple of people with Crohn's Disease. One of them I work with at The Press. So in my never ending quest to throw a little comedy in the face of bowel discomfort and intestinal atrophy I made this wallpaper! The only comment I really got (from a few different people I might add) was that I spelled Crohn's wrong. They kind of missed the point of the crone wailing about Crohn's. But I forgive them. Matt didn't even know what a crone was!
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Double update weekend? You bet your Aunt Petunia's sweet mincemeat pie! *gag*
A printing press has a lot of moving parts. And like that huge expensive machine The Press in which I work has its own moving parts. This charming fella is one of them. Commonly referred to as Machete in the graphics department he makes an extra $10 a week cleaning and maintaining the bathrooms! And who says there's no room to move up at The Press?
Sunday, April 11, 2010
One day I doodled everyone in the office as a pirate. This is John. Save the boots and vest this is him every other day of the week. In the last year or two he's earned the nickname Freakshow. He's a burnout. He's a drunk. In fact, he often comes to work hung over and even still drunk from the night before. Good thing he only runs heavy machinery!
John has a trademark cadence. His speech pattern is so distinctive that we all mimic it so much that some days we talk like him more than he does! 'Uhh' is thrown into every other sentence. Lots of his statements begin with a loud drawn out vocal outburst. Others trail off into nonsensical garbled words. "UHHH YOU GONNA buy that moped? It's the best moped in the world. John Candy rode that moped on the set of his last movie before he died. Y'know they filmed that movieonthemooninthedarkkablubbadoo..."
And that's another thing about John. He's always trying to sell his stuff. He goes through phases. He'll buy a bunch of camera lenses. Or amplifiers. Or cameras. Or guitars. Then he resells them for less than he paid for them! Not the greatest business man in the world. But I guess the process is a balm that soothes his emotional scars in a way all the booze can't touch.
Hunter and Matt enjoy talking to John just to hear stories about his outrageously odd life. He talks about his girlfriends like he hates them. He's in and out of a dozen bands full of people that he thinks suck. John shows us pictures of he and his brother posing shirtless with guitars. He puts out videos of himself playing guitar with video effects and that make us laugh. Hunter and Matt have become very adept at scaring him by sneaking up on him. I don't doubt that he's an entertaining guy, but for all the wrong reasons. John is an HBO dramedy waiting to happen.