Monday, April 26, 2010
I actually know a couple of people with Crohn's Disease. One of them I work with at The Press. So in my never ending quest to throw a little comedy in the face of bowel discomfort and intestinal atrophy I made this wallpaper! The only comment I really got (from a few different people I might add) was that I spelled Crohn's wrong. They kind of missed the point of the crone wailing about Crohn's. But I forgive them. Matt didn't even know what a crone was!
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Double update weekend? You bet your Aunt Petunia's sweet mincemeat pie! *gag*
A printing press has a lot of moving parts. And like that huge expensive machine The Press in which I work has its own moving parts. This charming fella is one of them. Commonly referred to as Machete in the graphics department he makes an extra $10 a week cleaning and maintaining the bathrooms! And who says there's no room to move up at The Press?
Sunday, April 11, 2010
One day I doodled everyone in the office as a pirate. This is John. Save the boots and vest this is him every other day of the week. In the last year or two he's earned the nickname Freakshow. He's a burnout. He's a drunk. In fact, he often comes to work hung over and even still drunk from the night before. Good thing he only runs heavy machinery!
John has a trademark cadence. His speech pattern is so distinctive that we all mimic it so much that some days we talk like him more than he does! 'Uhh' is thrown into every other sentence. Lots of his statements begin with a loud drawn out vocal outburst. Others trail off into nonsensical garbled words. "UHHH YOU GONNA buy that moped? It's the best moped in the world. John Candy rode that moped on the set of his last movie before he died. Y'know they filmed that movieonthemooninthedarkkablubbadoo..."
And that's another thing about John. He's always trying to sell his stuff. He goes through phases. He'll buy a bunch of camera lenses. Or amplifiers. Or cameras. Or guitars. Then he resells them for less than he paid for them! Not the greatest business man in the world. But I guess the process is a balm that soothes his emotional scars in a way all the booze can't touch.
Hunter and Matt enjoy talking to John just to hear stories about his outrageously odd life. He talks about his girlfriends like he hates them. He's in and out of a dozen bands full of people that he thinks suck. John shows us pictures of he and his brother posing shirtless with guitars. He puts out videos of himself playing guitar with video effects and that make us laugh. Hunter and Matt have become very adept at scaring him by sneaking up on him. I don't doubt that he's an entertaining guy, but for all the wrong reasons. John is an HBO dramedy waiting to happen.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Sunday I showed that I can be kind to Matt. Not just kind. Down right giving! You didn't think I could show the halo without flashing some devil horns, did you? No way, Jose DeLafuente! That's just not honest. And I might be a dick, but I'm an honest dick.
Matt bought a new car a couple of years ago. He loves his car. And he takes very good care of it. Such good care, in fact, that he takes the car to his dealership for oil changes whenever they summon him! Admirable, no? Coincidentally all of these urgent appointments coincide with the work day! So Matt has to leave an hour (or two) early!
I decided that someone had to take a stand. Someone had to teach him that work is a responsibility, not a liability! Work should not be taken for granted! Okay, I just wanted to laugh at Matt's expense for a little while. So linked here is the result of that heroic defiance! It is a desktop wallpaper of epic proportions: OMG MATT'S FACE!
Sunday, April 4, 2010
As often as we teased Matt we're all still pals. So one day Hunter and I gorged ourselves on pizza and left the last slice for Matt. See? We're not all bad! But Matt wasn't happy when he saw the box. I guess he thought we were just leaving our mess on his desk.
So he throws the pizza box off his desk in a furious rage! RRRAAAAHHHHH! Alright, maybe I added the primal shout for emphasis. Still Matt's got this way of suddenly lashing out at inanimate objects without paying attention to them. And on this day it cost him a slice of pizza!