Creepy Old Guys!

You ever see one of those really old guys that looks near dead and wonder how he sustains himself? Well now you know! Double, double toil and trouble, fire burn, and cauldron bubble! He's a necromancer, obviously! Beware! He'll devour your soul to strengthen his life force!

Presidential Badass!

What, you didn't know that Honest Abe loaded his revolver with silver bullets? You didn't know that he was thwarting zombie outbreaks in Illinois? That he was plotting daytime attacks on vampires from his log cabin? Your grasp of American history is atrocious man. You should be ashamed.

I'm told that most of the employees in our screen printing department were hired off the street. So it doesn't surprise me that one of the supervisors is, in fact, one of the living dead. He shambles about with his sunken beedy little eyes and filthy shirt, scarcely seen in our part of the plant. Which is good, the guy really creeps me out.